Moby vs Thom

Moby wrote the following in his online journal:

interesting question…moby vs. thom yorke.
well looked at hypothetically (cos i love radiohead and i think that thom yorke is a genius) i would assess things as such:
1-singing ability-no question here. thom yorke has the voice of an angel and i have the voice of an in-bred pig farmer. so he wins.
2-hair. no question again. thom has hair. i don’t. thom wins again.
3-resemblance to martin short. again. thom and martin short are doppelgangers.
i only resemble other bald guys (cos as we all know, every bald white guy kind of looks like every other bald white guy). winner: thom.
4-fighting ability. here i have no idea. i’m guessing that we’d both be pretty inept in a fight. so unless he has some martial arts training that i’m not aware of i would have to say that a fight between us would end in a stalemate.
5-debating skills. here i might have the edge, just because radiohead have been so universally loved during the course of their career. during my career lots of people have hated me, so i’ve had to develop some fairly proficient and defensive debating skills. so in debating i would have to say, winner: me.
6-survival skills in the woods. again, i’m guessing this would be a draw as we’re both probably lacking in outdoors survival skills. but i do believe that thom lives in the country, and i live in the city. so he might have an edge there. winner: thom.
7-red carpet award shows skills. here it’s no question, i’m a practiced media-whore, and thom likes to stay home. so i would win hands down. winner: me (with great shame).
8-hygiene. ooh, that’s a hard one… i’ll give us both the benefit of the doubt and say that it would be a tie due to our impeccable grooming and hygiene habits.
so the end result is that thom wins. which is probably for the best.
thank you.

By Jonathan

New York, NY