BEAUTIFUL DAY, INTERNET, CALIFORNIA - NIGHT
Camera pans past masturbating man wearing sign. Sign hangs around the man's neck like a necklace, covering the entirety of his body except for his cock.
"Has Mortigi Tempo become obsolete?" I have almost daily asked myself this question for the past 7 years of my life and today, I am proud to announce that I have finally found an answer.
Me, sitting in my room past midnight.
Hi, my name is Aaron Fulkerson and if you're like me then you've been wondering why your experience at MT has been feeling a little bit lackluster lately. Well, ladies and gentlemen, the answer is right on your face. That's right. It's your eyeballs. You see, eyeballs were meant to see things in all 3 dimensions, not just 2. This can be proven with a simple, scientific experiment which I am about to demonstrate.
Do you see the difference? The image on the top utilizes 3 dimensions of space as opposed to only 2. As a result, the image on top looks way cooler. That shit is ray-traced.
"But Aaron, how can we take advantage of such awesome technology?" It's simple, stupid. You buy these glasses and then when you read specially encoded material, words will whiz past your head like a hailstorm of armor-piercing bullets.
The investment required to outfit Mortigi Tempo's servers with the required hardware would be miniscule. Less than it would cost to create a movie studio capable of circa 1977 Industrial Light and Magic special effects. Plus you've got a wad of cash from all of the ads so don't go cheap.
If you guys are like me and are tired of reading your words in just 2 dimensions then please affix a written post to this thread by clicking the "Add Reply" button. Then, write your name and a brief description of how awesome it would be to read MT in 3D and click "Add Reply".
Please and thank you for reading.
- Father Aaron Fulkerson