Hail to the Thief Radiohead

New album?

The Wafer recently put up an article about Radiohead’s next album:


A spokesman for Radiohead last night confirmed that the band’s next album, rumoured to be released sometime in the next year, will feature a moving barcode in a bid to “…Stem the flow of Radiohead CDs which are used to prop up the unfair capitalist system.” The new barcodes, specially designed by the band in collaboration with Mega-Corp, the worlds leading barcode technology developers, sense any laser light directed to the back of the CD, and immediately dart around the case by use of magnets and a small diamond powered motor. Thus making it impossible for the barcode to be read and therefore the CD to be purchased.

“Radiohead hope that once the major retailers find that they can no longer exploit the public with the bands work, by exchanging it for cash. A fairer, more equal way of trading will develop between both the retailers and the general public.” The spokesman continued: “This is not, in any way, a publicity stunt to help generate sales. This is a genuine political statement by the band against, what they feel, is one of the great injustices of modern society.”

Ignoring claims that the only way fans can now get hold of the album is through shoplifting, the band have went on to promote their moving barcode to other groups. U2 and Rage Against The Machine have both expressed interest, but were unavailable for comment, as both were on holiday in an exotic, yet civilised part of the world. Due to the large amount of technology and engineering incorporated into each barcode, the price of each CD will also rise. Estimates at this time point to £69.99 for the new disc, whilst others are far less conservative. But whatever cost the fans have to pay, Radiohead believe they will be happy that they are taking part in the downfall of global capitalism.

In case you can’t tell, this is not real… Go on, laugh!

{thanks to Cathy}

By Jonathan

New York, NY